two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize