I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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