"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
