Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
