It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
