I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
