PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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