Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
