I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
