You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
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There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
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Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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