the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We had to coat check the pizza.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
