i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
