I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
