marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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