found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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