so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
