well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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