Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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