my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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