You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
