the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The convent might be a nice break from real life
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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