I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
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I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
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also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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