my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.