dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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