It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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