Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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