I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
