Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
