i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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