I love black thongs
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
