I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
