You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I pour the whiskey from now on
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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