Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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