i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
