do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
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I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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