WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
