in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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