I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
