Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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