I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
if only i could text you this smell
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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