they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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