then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
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Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
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I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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