Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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