I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
