What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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