i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
