The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
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i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize