she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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