Where is the hickey?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
