Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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