At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
