When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
