on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
