I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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