Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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