I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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