I heard we made out
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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