I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
