I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
