hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
