if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
