There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
